Babysitting
by Kaleidoscope.e
Summary: Ulquiorra agrees to babysit his nephew overnight and when he suggests that Grimmjow stay away, the blue haired man takes it as a personal challenge. How will these two deal with a four year old? - AU / mildly OOC, Grimmulqui, UlquiorraxGrimmjow, GxU


The phone rang once.

The cat jumped off the couch, startled by the sudden noise.

The phone rang twice.

The dark haired man had washed the chopped onions off his hands.

By the time the phone rang a third time, he had picked it up.

"Hello?" he barely had the time to get the greeting out before a voice cut him off.

"Haruki, hush, you can talk to your uncle another time, I have to talk to him first."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow as he recognized the voice of his sister.

"Hello Midori." he spoke once again, gaining the attention of the woman on the other side.

"Ulquiorra. I hope you're doing well?" Midori was Ulquiorra's elder sister and though they got along fairly well, they spoke very little. Some would theorize that this had to do with the combination of Midori's job and son, both of which took ample amounts of time from a person, from what Ulquiorra could tell. Whatever the reason, Ulquiorra often found himself enjoying his sister's company and her phone calls. Not, however, when he was in the middle of preparing his dinner.

"Considerably. Was there a particular reason why you called, sister?" Ulquiorra wasn't one to beat around the bush, this much was certain.

"There was. I hate to have to call you for this but I am in a rather difficult spot and I need a favour. I have a meeting out of town next week and will be gone overnight however, the woman who usually watches Haruki when I'm out of town will be away herself. Mother and Father are on vacation. I cannot take him with me and there are so few whom I trust enough to leave him with. You're one of the few still left on that list... would it be possible for him to stay with you over night? I leave on the 14th and will be back the next morning."

As soon as she'd said the words "favour" and "out of town", he'd expected it, but paused as it was said all the same. His eyes darted up to his calendar where one date, scribbled on in messy, blue writing caught his eye: Grimmjow. The man would be coming home from his own business trip the morning of the 14th. Ulquiorra sighed internally but he could not remember the last time his sister had asked him for anything. Could he leave her in this spot? Resolve made, he answered simply.

"I will have to call you back Midori. I have plans to move around if that is going to be possible. I will let you know within the hour."

"Plans? I don't want to ruin any plans you had prepared..." her concerned voice came out slowly.

"It is fine. I will speak with you later."

"Alright. Until then."

They both hung up. Ulquiorra looked down at the phone in his hands and before he knew it, his fingers were dialling a number, one they knew by memory. As the phone rang, he allowed himself to return to the kitchen to continue chopping the vegetables, phone tucked between his shoulder and ear. The knife moved in quick, clear movements continuing even as a voice could be heard on the other side of the phone.

"Well hello there..."

It was sad, but Ulquiorra could so clearly picture the face his lover would be wearing as the words were purred.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"I'm on my way into a meeting but the bastards can wait. What's up?" the tone of Grimmjow's tone of his voice changed as it recognized the tone in Ulquiorra's.

"I will not keep you long then. Midori called me this afternoon."

"Oh? And how is that gorgeous sister of yours?" Again, the visual accompaniment flashed in Ulquiorra's mind as the blue haired man replied. A sigh left his lips.

"Must you comment on everything?"

"Hey, it's not my fault. It's you Schiffers; you're all intoxicating."

Ulquiorra sliced the carrot with a little more force than was perhaps necessary.

"Hm. She is doing well but she has asked me to watch Haruki overnight."

That sobered Grimmjow right up.

"Watch as in babysit? As in a child?" his voice seemed incredulous.

"It would seem so."

"...When?" the voice was now strangely suspicious. Ulquiorra answered, repeating the date that he had been given by his sister, waiting for what he knew would be a rather displeased kitty.

"Ah hell. It would fall on my first fucking day back. Chasing rug-rats around wasn't exactly my idea of a welcome home gift..."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I was hoping for something more green eyed, dark haired, about 6 feet 5 inches tall, all wrapped up with a big ribbon... we'd put that ribbon to good use..." the voice lowered and Ulquiorra was sure Grimmjow was visualizing.

He snapped him out if with a sour reply "It cannot be helped. So I suppose I will see you on the 16th."

"Wait so I can't even stop by?"

"No. I do not think it is wise to expose you to a child nor a child to you. It would not bode well. Furthermore, I did not think that you would wish to... you have never seemed the type to enjoy children."

"Wait, is this a roundabout wait to say that you think I couldn't handle it?" the voice was suspicious once again, picking apart what was being said.

"I am saying that you would not know what to do with a child."

"Says who! I could watch a kid and do it well asshole." Grimmjow seemed to be gritting his teeth now.

"If you believe so Grimmjow..."

"And I'll prove it to you! Nothing can beat Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. Nothing. Besides, I could use a good challenge. I'll see you on the 14th."

And with that, he hung up, leaving Ulquiorra to sigh slightly at this turn in events. Picking up the phone, he called Midori back and it was done.

"Say hello to your uncle and Grimmjow, Haruki." Midori spoke clearly, pushing her son forward a little. The young boy fluttered his innocent dark lashes up at his uncle and spoke in a small voice.

"Hello uncle, hello Grimmjow. Thank you for letting me stay with you!"

Had Ulquiorra and Grimmjow been the type to melt at the sight of adorable children, they might just be doing so at this small, brown haired boy as he smiled up at them, a little teddy bear in hand.

As it were, they weren't the types.

"Yes, thank you for this Ulquiorra. I really appreciate it." Midori addressed her brother with a small smile and proceeded to place her son's overnight bag onto the table next to them. "It should all be there, toothbrush, pyjamas, clothing, bedtime books, some toys. He's getting over a bit of a cold and he's on his last day of medicine. It's in the front pocket. I've also included a list of the foods he's allergic to and the ones he won't eat. Believe me, it's easier and less painful to avoid those foods. He's usually in bed by about eight,"

The list continued for another minute or so until, at the very end, Midori added one last question, as if it was a side thought and not foremost on her mind. "Will you be staying around Grimmjow?"

It wasn't that the Schiffer woman didn't like Grimmjow. In fact, it was the very opposite. She'd been surprised when Ulquiorra had introduced them. It had been the first time that she'd seen her brother with anyone and the fact that it was another male had been, admittedly, a little shocking. However, once she'd gotten over that, she'd realized that Grimmjow was exactly the sort of person that Ulquiorra needed. They were like ying and yang and she'd always known that her brother would need a strong person if he was ever going to enter a relationship. So really, was it that difficult to believe?

What did worry her was that well Grimmjow was amusing and enjoyable for an adult (or most adults) he was considerably more... dangerous when presented in front of a child. There were a few choice words in particular that she didn't need her son repeating at daycare...

Grimmjow must have known this for he snickered a little and answered "Yeah, I'll be around. Don't worry about it Midori, I'll keep a cap on the language and whatever. I'm not a complete mor-" the look on her face cut the word mid sentence but it didn't faze Grimmjow in the slightest. "I'm smarter than that." he tried again.

"Hm. At any rate, if I find that his vocabulary has suddenly expanded with some colourful new words, I'll know whose hide to go after." she winked at the blue haired man earning a deep chuckle from him in response. Ulquiorra's mouth thinned, not enjoying this exchange. It was silly and he was not a possessive person but it never amused him when people teased his lover or flirted, even if in a completely platonic way. Sister or not, it irked him. Grimmjow must have noticed for he wrapped one arm around the dark haired man and pulled him toward his body.

"I'll be good, I promise." both Schiffers seriously doubted that Grimmjow and good were synonymous but said nothing.

"Alright, I'd better get going then if I don't want to be miss boarding. Call my cell if you have any problems. Haruki?" she called out to the small child who had taken it upon himself to become acquainted with the cat. The sudden feeling of abandonment raced through him as his mother spoke his name and he knew, as all children did, that this was the point where she would be leaving; It was that sixth sense that all four year olds possessed. He launched himself at her, wrapping his arms around her and letting tears form in his eyes

"Don't go mama!"

The entire scene was much too "family" for Ulquiorra and Grimmjow who just watched on awkwardly.

"It's only two days chibi, don't worry. Besides, if you come, who will watch those two knuckleheads?" she asked, pointing to the two men standing in front of them. That seemed to stop the boy who sniffed, nodded and let a smile creep onto his face.

"Okay..." he squeezed his arms around her neck in one last hug then peeled himself off of her, backing up to stand with his uncle.

"I'll see you soon. Be good boys." she left then, leaving the three to themselves with one question hanging in the air :

Now what?

"Now what?" had turned into "lets chase the cat around the apartment". When the cat lashed out at the poor child, not used to having it's tail pulled ("I didn't want to hurt him!" the boy had sworn) Ulquiorra had suggested they switch activities. The young boy had pulled out a book and asked that they read it please, please, please with sugar on top.

Ulquiorra decided not to tell the child that he wasn't a fan of sweet things.

Grimmjow had wished he'd had a camera as he watched the two of them sitting on the sofa, Ulquiorra reading the book in a deadpanned tone. Somehow, it didn't bother the child who simply sat, curled up next to his uncle, a look of wonder on his face.

They read for a little longer before putting a show on and Grimmjow, who had gone out to grab some food that were on the "safe" list, had waked in to see a purple dinosaur on the television. What kind of shows did they make for children these days?

It wasn't until they were in the kitchen making lunch that a problem sprung up.

"Grimmjow, pass me the knife."

"I can do it uncle!" the small voice volunteered, jumping at the knife. Luckily, Grimmjow's reflexes were quick and he grabbed the back of the tyke's shirt just as his little fingers graced the handle of the dangerous object. The nudge was enough to unbalance the tool and it fell off the counter toward the child. Grimmjow quickly moved in, pulling Haruki back but becoming unbalanced and falling over himself in the process.

It had happened in the span of seconds and now Grimmjow lay on the floor, Haruki on his chest with one throbbing head.

"...fu-"

"Haruki. We do not touch knives. They are for adults." Ulquiorra's voice cut of (or rather hid) the word that came from the blue haired man's lips. He moved toward the child to inspect him, nodding in satisfaction after a moment; Grimmjow had taken most of the fall and so the small child was unharmed.

"Be more careful kid!" the blue haired man growled, a little more forcefully than he'd meant. One warning look from Ulquiorra and big, horrified eyes from the littlest Schiffer sobered him up quickly and he continued "We just don't want you to get hurt." once again, the eyes nodded.

Lunch was quickly finished and served and the incident put behind them. Which worked out well as another one had already been put into motion. After they'd eaten, Haruki had wanted to help and apologize for "hurting" Grimmjow and decided to do so by clearing the table. The four year old realized too late that his plate was too heavy for him and within moments, a smash resounded through the apartment. The plate that had once been in his hands now sat on the floor, a pile of smashed, white ceramic. The little boy looked horrified and went to pick a piece up, slicing his finger in the process. Blood dripped, contrasting against the white pile and, upon seeing the blood, the boy began to wail.

It didn't matter that the cut was shallow or that it didn't really hurt. There was blood and that was enough to convince the child that it was the end for him.

"Uncle!" the tears flowed freely from the youngest pair of Schiffer eyes. The two adults quickly went to work, Grimmjow beginning to clean up the mess while Ulquiorra worked on finding a band-aid for Haruki. He rummaged through the first aid kit, knowing that there would be one there and yet, found nothing. Strange... he was not the type of person to forget things and he always replaced what he used from the kit (not that it's contents got pulled out very often but that was beside the point).

It was the blue haired man who came to their rescue.

"Band-aid?"

"I have none... I suppose some gauze should suffice."

"Gauze? For a kid? Nah, that'll just freak him out. Hold on."

Ulquiorra raised a single brow as the man disappeared from the room. He rocked the frail body in his arms awkwardly as he waited for Grimmjow to return and was pleased to note that the boys tears had ceased or at least, just about; he rather disliked leaky things.

"Here."

Ulquiorra was rarely surprised but if there was anyone who could do it, it was his lover, always pulling tricks out of his proverbial hat.

"Should I inquire as to why and where you acquired a... dinosaur band-aid?" the smallest of small smirks turned up the corner of Ulquiorra's lips, teasing the man in front of him. Pink dusted tan cheeks in response.

"I cut myself a lot so I keep band-aids in my wallet... This was the last pack they had at the pharmacy the last time I went."

You didn't have to be a genius to see through that lie. Forcing the blush off his face, Grimmjow waited as Ulquiorra cleaned the cut and then applied the band-aid himself. The young boy sniffled once after they'd finished.

"You're really cool uncle Grimmjow. I like your bandana-aids."

Uncle Grimmjow?

The same question ran through both their minds but neither corrected the tyke.

Panic mode settled down, Ulquiorra sent the two into the living room so that he could clean up. He winced slightly as he saw the state of his favourite set of plates but it couldn't be helped at this point and regret was a wasted emotion.

It was Grimmjow who suggested the walk in the park. The weather was nice enough and perhaps some fresh air would do them all good. Plus, it seemed that the boy had too much energy and was just hurting himself in the apartment so going outdoors could only help to deplete his energy reserves.

The three of them walked down the street or rather, the two adults walked, the boy skipped happily. It was unnerving to see a being so full of happiness; it practically radiated off of him. Ulquiorra wasn't sure what had caused it, it certainly wasn't a Schiffer trait. That said, his sister was the most "animated" of the lot so in a way, it made some sense.

They reached a park and were given no choice as the boy grabbed each of their hands and began pulling them toward the playground.

"Lets play tag! You're it uncle Grimmjow!" the little boy yelled, poking the man before he scurried off. Neither of the two men commented on the fact that Haruki had continued using Grimmjow's newly assigned title; sometimes it was best to leave things alone.

"You heard the child..." The corners of Ulquiorra's lips pulled up as a challenging look danced in his eyes. Or, as much as it could in the dark haired man's eyes. Grimmjow watched as his lover turned to follow the child (to ensure Haruki didn't hurt himself and not to play, naturally) and in a flash, was behind him with his arms wrapped around the smaller body. Ulquiorra could feel the hot breath on his ear as he was whispered to,

"Tag. You're it..."

"I don't play children's games Grimmjow." The Schiffer answered cooly.

"Oh? How about adult ones..."

"Uncle Ulquiorraaaaa! Uncle Grimmmmmmjow! Come catch me!"

Grimmjow reluctantly let the pale man go and began walking toward Haruki but paused and turned after a moment.

"Why don't you sit this one out. I've got a point to prove anyways." he winked at Ulquiorra before hurrying off after the boy who laughed with glee.

Deciding to allow the cat like man his desire, Ulquiorra sat down on a park bench, allowing the smallest of smiles of amusement cross his face before he pushed both the emotion and the smile back into it's box. Most emotions were, in Ulquiorra's mind, wasted ones. Affection had been high on that list before he'd met the blue haired man who now chased a giggling toddler around the playground.

Affection... It had taken him a long time to accept the fact that he might very well have, dare he think it, affectionate feelings toward the other man; but this personal realization had never manifested itself into a verbal statement.

Neither of them had said it but that didn't stop both of them from recognizing it, if only to themselves.

He knew that perhaps, one day, maybe, when he'd come home from a long day at work or when his mental barriers were down that the words might slip from his lips. Until that day came however, he was perfectly content in keeping it to himself. He may have already handed his metaphorical heart over, but that didn't mean that the blue haired man needed to know it.

He watched as the young boy took it upon himself to invite another child to the swings with him, giving Grimmjow a big smile before asking something. The tan man nodded and began pushing both children whose giggles and shouts of "Higher! Higher!" could be heard across the playground.

"You are a very lucky young man," a woman who had sat down next to him on the bench suddenly addressed him.

"Excuse me?" the words came out in a tone that mixed mild shock and Ulquiorra's signature calculating stoicism.

"Your... do excuse me if I'm wrong, but your partner seems to be a natural with kids. I have trouble getting my husband to take our son to baseball practice, let alone get him to the park and actively playing with our son like that. You are very fortunate." she smiled to him, ignoring the cold look that she was getting in return for her words.

Ulquiorra's first thought was to wonder when it had become socially acceptable to butt your nose into a stranger's business. He was not one for the social scene, but he knew it's rules fairly well. His second thought was reserved to mull over her words. It was true that Grimmjow had surprised him multiple times throughout the day and had indeed kept his promise to be on his best behaviour. Not only that but with the child, he seemed to change somehow. He was still the same emotionally charged person he had always been, but less brash and more concerned in general.

However, should he really be so surprised? The feline like man had seemed determined to prove to Ulquiorra that he could do it and when the stubborn cat was determined, nothing could stop him. He was passionate, when he found something to be passionate about. The black haired man was suddenly struck by the idea that maybe, just maybe he'd underestimated him and that he might actually make a good parental figure, a good father.

His eyes moved to his side, discovering that the woman was still looking at him as if challenging him to argue. He didn't.

Because the reality was that he was indeed, very lucky.

"Little pig! Little pig! Let me in! Let me in!" Now there was a Kodak moment if there ever was one; Grimmjow, reading one last bedtime story to "the small fry" as he'd nick named the child, all while taking on voices for the characters.

The eldest Schiffer stood in the doorway, looking on.

"Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!" was the high pitched reply from Haruki.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

The story continued as such and Ulquiorra watched, sure that they his presence had gone by unnoticed. Sure, that was, until Grimmjow concluded with a "and that, small fry, is why you never open the door to creeps. Right Ulquiorra?"

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at him, a small, taunting smirk threatening to pull at the corner of his lips if he wasn't careful.

"I let you in, do I not?"

The little boy giggled at the blue haired man whose eyes narrowed slightly at the answer.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, lights out."

The "small fry" requested two hugs from each men (though Ulquiorra's were given somewhat stiffly) and then promptly snuggled down into his bed for the night. It wasn't until they were safely sitting on the couch that Grimmjow spoke.

"So? Surprised bastard?"

Ulquiorra looked at him for a moment before allowing one of his hands to reach up and run fingers through blue hair almost unthinkingly. "One could say that..."

Grimmjow practically purred as the hand began to massage the back of his scalp.

"Ha... hah! Admit it, you were expecting me to fuck it up today."

"Perhaps."

"Tch. Vague as always. Well whatever, it's not as if you'd admit it if I was right anyways." the hand stopped massaging and instead pulled to bring their faces closer together.

"You did not mess up as much as I had anticipated..."

It was as close to a "you did well." as you'd ever get from the black haired man and Grimmjow was just about to reply his shock when a pair of lips cut off his words. It was usually he who initiated things and so when Ulquiorra did it... well it certainly sent shudders down Grimmjow's spine. He returned the kiss hungrily, only breaking off when he needed air and long enough to answer.

"You thankful enough to promise me some ribbon tomorrow night?" His voice sounded husky even to him and it was taking all his restraint not to jump the pale haired man there and then.

"It... might be arrangeable."

They decided at that point that words were a wasteful way to use their lips and returned to the original activity before a small voice cut through the mood.

"Uncle Ulquiorra, Uncle Grimmjow, I can't sleep!"

The two pulled away in mild surprise and sat in silence a good ten seconds before Grimmjow got up, saying before he went down the hallway,

"Fuck the ribbon, you owe me straight out cuffs after this one. Erg. It's going to be a long night."

Ulquiorra just wasn't sure which night he was referring to.

* * *

**Authors note** : Consider this my apology for having not updated Entanglement in... ages. I could give a lovely list of excuses but I know that we all hate it when Authors do that so instead, I'll just say that I do intend on continuing it and I have the next few chapters planned out. It's now just a matter of forcing myself to sit down and write. [A good lesson to you all boys and girls, laziness is not a good thing! Don't be like Stark! =P]

As far as this story goes... It was originally written for a GrimmUlqui FF contest over on DA where the prompt was Children. I was stumped for quite some time but finally managed to pull this one out of my a- ... hat. It's kind of OOC, I'm completely in agreement but so is putting the words "Grimmjow, Ulquiorra" and "child" together. We love it all the same.

Hope you enjoyed!

_**Edit **__: Typo corrected and reformatted on June 19th 2010_


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